The Title may sound strange to you, but I use to live like that, being led by my emotions. If I was happy, everybody loved me, if I was depressed, everybody hated me. My feelings dictated the way I lived and behaved. Unfortunately, that’s the case for many people. Nowadays, a lot of people are dealing with depression; it is a terrible illness that leads many people to commit suicide. In the United States, approximately 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of people who commit suicide have depression or another mood disorder. I thought about suicide myself, twice, as far as I remember, because I could find any reason to be alive, I thought my life was worthless, but, because God loved me so much, He never allowed me to do it. Until I was about 9 years old, I was not afraid of anything, like those crazy little boys that always get in trouble. I was a happy kid enjoying life. But, after we moved near my grandmother I slowly became shy, fearfull, discontent, etc. Then, in my teenage years, I became rebelious, melancholic, bitter, among other things. In my twenties, I became a careless person, living or dying, winning or loosing, loving or hating, it was all the same, even if I looked nice outside, inside was dead. I used to have a motorcycle (I love it), but, as they say: “In a motorcycle, you are the bumper”, I had some accidents (less then ten, as far as I remember), and some because I used to ride really fast. Only one of them I woke up in the hospital, the others I saw everything. I remember in two of them, when I was about to crash; I had the creepiest experience ever. In two or three seconds, I saw my whole life passing before my eyes (like a movie), since I was in the crib, in my mom’s bedroom, through my childhood, my teenage years, up to that hour, then I had a terrifying feeling that I was about to die, the only thing I could say was: “God, please, save me”. Once I manage to control the motorcycle and didn’t crash, but I had to stop the bike in the sidewalk, and stood laying in the grass for about thirty minutes because my strength was gone, I tried to stand up a couple times, but I felt again. The other time I controlled the motorcycle for a while but then I crash, it was bad, but I didn’t die (fisicaly, spiritualy I was already dead). So, even having those experiences, I didn’t give my life to Jesus. Then, one day, my sister got possessed by a demon, so my brother was expelling that demon. In the room, was my mom, my dad, my brother and sister, and I was there, looking, by the door, just in case I had to run (LOL), then my brother asked the demon why he was possessing my sister. The demon said he was in our family for generations, someone along the way made a pact with satan and he was with the family since then. The demon said that when my grandma died, my sister went to see her in the coffin, and then this demon passed from my grandma to my sister (after that my sister had serious problems, like, overdose for example), my sister was laying in the bed, then she sat down, and point to me, than the demon said to me: “I will kill you”. At that moment I got scared, but, after a couple days, I was back to being careless. That was the reason God freed me, broke my chains (I speak about it in the post PERSONAL TESTIMONY: NEW LIFE). I was satan’s property, he did with me whatever he wanted, I was like a puppet in his hands, my emotions were satan’s playground. I’m not saying here that EVERY problem or illness happens because satan is causing it to happen, but A LOT OF THEM ARE. I believe, again, I BELIEVE that DEPRESSION is an illness of the SPIRIT, the doctors and researchers can come up with whatever explanation they want to, create whatever medication they are able to, in order to treat it, but to me, ONLY JESUS CHRIST CAN HEAL OUR SPIRIT, a medication can make you “feel better” for a while, like a drug to a drug addicted person. Why I am so emphatic on this? Why I sound so radical when I say that only Jesus Christ can heal a DEPRESSED SPIRIT? Read what it says in Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Have you ever seen a person with major depression? It makes you sad, to say the least. Do you want to see how bad depression is? Remember Elijah, the prophet of “fire” (literally speaking)? Read his story, it’s amazing; he just had a tremendous victory against the prophets of baal, he killed them all. But then, 1 Kings 19 says that jezebel sent a messenger to tell Elijah that she would kill him the way he killed the prophets of baal. When Elijah saw that, he arose and ran for his life. Verse 4 says: But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, "It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!" How come after seen the Power and the Glory of God, Elijah got so discourage and afraid that it led him to a major depression? The bible says in Ephesians 4:27 nor give place to the devil. Elijah was dealing with a powerful demon, and, because he allowed fear to enter in his heart, he had to flee and then he asked God to take his life. Remember John the Baptist? The same thing happened to him, the same spirit (demon) was behind Herodias (they call spirit of Jezebel) and led John to doubt that Jesus was the messiah, even after giving testimony about it, read John 1:32-34 And John bore witness, saying, “I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and He remained upon Him. I did not know Him, but He who sent me to baptize with water said to me, ‘Upon whom you see the Spirit descending, and remaining on Him, this is He who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.’ And I have seen and testified that this is the Son of God.” I personally dealt with that spirit (demon) and I can tell you that this demon will lead you to give up, to think that God has abandoned you, He no longer loves you. I almost gave up, I almost abandoned my faith. If wasn’t for God’s love and mercy I wasn’t a believer anymore.
Conclusion: I just want to say to you that no matter how obedient or committed to God we are, we still can give place to the devil, allow our emotions lead us, we’re not better than Elijah or John the Baptist, so we have to be careful an vigilant, otherwise we will fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
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