Personal Testimony: New Life.

Well, I’ll try to be as concise as possible. I grew up in a Christian home, first catholic, then, when I was about 8 years old, my parents became evangelicals. I always tried to be a "good person" by my own efforts, but, like Jesus said in Matthew 23:25. I was like that, a hypocrite, looking good outside, but inside I was rotten. Many sins and problems, like depression, unforgiveness, hate, among others. I had one foot in the church, another in hell. A couple times I thought about committing suicide, I couldn't find anything worth living for. In my mid twenties, I started seeking God with all my heart. Then the enemy (the devil), offered me stuff, friendships, pleasures, then I drifted away from God. For many years I was running from God. It's incredible how many times God spoke to me, even trough my unbelieving friends. I remember couple times when I was saying or doing foolish things, a friend used to say: You need Jesus in your heart! That was the most horrific thing someone could say to me, it was like a sword piercing my heart. But, nothing ever changed. Until one day I decided to come to America to spend a year, it was a crazy thing, my friends called me crazy, I was leaving everything behind, girlfriend, business, friends, etc., but I didn't care. One month latter I arrived in U.S., first month, nice, after that things started getting terribly bad, I had to get a job, so I started delivering newspapers in the morning (Illinois is really cold in the winter). As I didn't have anything better to do, I started going to a church, playing in the worship team, time went fast, was already time to go back like I had planned. One night at church, in a prayer meeting (that day I was so depressed, like never before), I was crying before God, asking Him why my life was so horrible, nothing was changing, even if I was seeking Him everyday, but then, a lady stood up and said: "Julio, God is saying if you stay here He will change your life". Man, I felt so much peace and joy at that moment, things that I never had before (I couldn't believe few minutes before I was disgusted with my life, so depressed), it should be God. It was God. So, I decided to believe and stayed here. Couple months after that I got married (part of the change). Then I started seeking God in my mornings, praying, worshiping. It was like I was getting closer and closer to God. One day, I took the newspapers and was going to deliver them. I was driving, then, suddenly I started seeing a vision: I saw myself in an big auditorium, there was a man leading worship (it was a strange thing for a rational, conservative guy), I was driving and at the same time I was seeing and hearing like I was there. Then the worship leader said: If you want to be free, have your life changed, come and I’ll pray for you. Then I went there, he started praying for me, then God said to me: "I will free you, break your bondages, give you a new life and I will anoint you, because I have a calling for you, I'll send you to the nations to preach the gospel". Then, as the vision came, it disappeared. For weeks, I kept thinking about it, it was the strangest thing ever. A few months later (6 at least), a worship leader was came to Chicago, his name is Marco Barrientos (check his website: http://www.aliento.com), some friends from church were going, I decided to go. We're there, Marco started leading worship, he was speaking and singing, I started thinking: I saw this before, I’m sure. Then the Holy Spirit remembered me: THE VISION! Then Marco asked: "If you want to be free, have your life changed, come and I’ll pray for you". I jumped from my chair, run to the platform, then he started praying, to prophecy, at the end, he said the same things God spoke to me in the vision: "God is setting you free, breaking your bondages, giving you a new life and anointing you, because He has a calling for you, He will send you to the nations to preach the gospel". After that day, God used me with different gifts and started a process in my life called Sanctification. It's amazing how accurate and truthful the Bible is, like when Jesus says in John 8:36. It's been over 9 years since God freed me, life is still hard, but God is still good, like it says in Hebrews 13:8. Despite our weakness and sins, He loves us like He always did, even when we don't feel like being loved. There are other things I didn't write, it would take a lot longer, but I can tell you one thing, if we sometimes doubt that God loves us , it's because we don't know Him enough. Read the life of Job, after going through all that pain and suffering, he says in Job 42:1-5.